40 Days of Story: Let’s wander, wonder together!
You fabulous friends…
I can’t resist inviting you on a 40-day adventure with me. Let’s call it a road trip of head + heart.
Forty days to be curious about our own stories–to wander around them, be in wonder of them, and make our home in the story we most desire.
Here’s my less than secret aim: May each of us find the story we most need to invigorate us to become more of who we are, and perhaps even bring us back to life again.
The format is simple. Each day I will pose a question that invites you to reflect on your own story. I am mainly working from a screenplay story structure. But as you know, few real life stories get sorted in 120 minutes. So there’s that. Expect mess.
The adventure can be as epic–or cinéma vérité -as you need it to be. But let’s do this!
Here’s Day #1: What’s the story you most want to wake up to?
Hint: We live our lives smack in the middle of 100 stories–often not even knowing it. So, what’s the one story you want to pay attention to during this season?
Let’s get at it this way:
Conflict drives a story. Desire defines it.
What do you desire to desire?
Perhaps it’s clear. You want to fight to make your marriage work, but even as that thought flashes you feel scared or cynical or exhausted by it. So maybe it doesn’t feel so clear. Or maybe you want to learn to paint, share more of your ideas at work, start to write again or learn to talk with your teenager?
As we begin this journey, it can be hard to name the one story out of the hundred we want to not only give our attention to but also our hopes. But great stories always entail great risks.
I’ll tell you this. These 40-days of story feel risky for me already. I’ve carved out a career of chasing and crafting other people’s stories. And I love it! I am made for it, good at it, dedicated to it. But here’s my confession: I often feel clumsy–utterly ill-equipped–to share mine. So, I want to pay attention to that.
But if I’m even more candid, there’s something else. I long to know and be known, love and be loved in deeper ways in this season.
And that’s the magic of story. You want one thing. And there ends up being something deeper behind it. But that’s for another day…when we talk about external and internal quest.
As I leave you on this Ash Wednesday, I can’t resist noting these 40 Days happen to be during Lent. You may or may not have any context to that. But it’s a nod to Jesus wandering in the wilderness for 40 days, and it ends as the epic of epics. His is a divine and earthy story of deep desire, crazy conflict, and ultimate choice. Life. Death. Resurrection.
It’s transformation. And that is at the heart of all stories.
So, let’s get to our beginning question one last way: What do you want to have transformed? Or, how do YOU want to be transformed?
That’s your story. Now tell me about it…if you dare.
I love this, Tamara! Thanks so much for posting. And thanks for asking the question in multiple ways so a person can seek what resonates most with them. I think in terms of personal transformation, I long to not be overly influenced by the opinions other people have of me or my work. Over the years, I have seen this diminish greatly in my life and that has helped me step into unknown spaces, take more risks, etc. BUT I’m discovering that when I’m in perhaps more fragile seasons, the impact of other people’s opinions of me or my work comes back in force. I wonder if even recognizing the “when” might be a step toward transformation.
Patrice! Wow…thanks so much for sharing. And that’s such a sharp-edged and vital desire. I know we haven’t journeyed long together, but I have swiftly seen you as courageous. It seems you have dared many times to gain and know your voice. But that “when” question resonates. I think when we have given to or been given over to our work so passionately, and have fought so fiercely for what we believe fragility comes…because we are naturally exhausted. I think it’s a curious cycle…we work to gain our voice, we grow strong, we fight the fight, we get wiped out, and we wonder about our own voice again. And that’s when we are desperate for a community–a true community–that invites us to rest and knows we’ll remember our voice when it’s time. Thanks again for sharing…you inspire!
Thanks for leading us on this journey Tamara. I am excited about how the next 40 days will unfold! My life purpose is to breathe life into people by pointing out the beauty all around us. But I feel recently that I’ve lost touch with the Source of all beauty, so therefore I have been feeling uninspired. Each morning of these 40 days, it is my desire to simply sit in His presence, gaze upon His beauty, sing to Him, and allow Him to breathe into me His breath of life. On the other end of this 40 days, may a fresh, more colorful, more inspired life emerge!
Charity, thanks so much for sharing! I love how you expressed your life purpose…and you do that by your sheer presence. But yes, there are so many distractions calling our gaze away from the Source of all beauty. I love that you’re enticed to resist and rest. What a gorgeous intention for these 40 Days…may the Divine revive you with what your soul longs for, the beauty of His gaze calling you His beloved.
Hi again, Charity! I just re-read this piece by one of my favorite poets. I always awakens beauty and hope in me as I do…and I can’t resist sharing in hopes you experience that too.
A Morning Offering by John O’Donohue
I bless the night that nourished my heart
To set the ghosts of longing free
Into the flow and figure of dream
That went to harvest from the dark
Bread for the hunger no one sees.
All that is eternal in me
Welcomes the wonder of this day,
The field of brightness it creates
Offering time for each thing
To arise and illuminate.
I place on the altar of dawn:
The quiet loyalty of breath,
The tent of thought where I shelter,
Waves of desire I am shore to
And all beauty drawn to the eye.
May my mind come alive today
To the invisible geography
That invites me to new frontiers,
To break the dead shell of yesterdays,
To risk being disturbed and changed.
May I have the courage today
To live the life that I would love,
To postpone my dream no longer
But do at last what I came here for
And waste my heart on fear no more.
From To Bless the Space Between Us
Tamara,
This journey is a gift. Thanks for leading us.
I want to continue to be transformed into a bold risk taker for Christ. I want to continue my journey from self reliance to God dependent, from insecure to God confident.
That’s a lot but it is where I am in my journey right now.
Anita, thanks so much for sharing! It’s always a joy to hear from you. I love how you always lean toward growth, enticed by surrender. It’s obvious the Spirit is working gorgeous grace to give you that desire. Can’t wait to hear more!
Tamara, this is truly beautiful – as are you. While I’m sure that this Ash Wednesday post will speak to SO many people, I still felt as if you were speaking directly to me – crafting my story. Thank you for sharing your talents and insights!
Beth, thanks so much for your generous comments. It’s such a joy to get a greater glimpse into your inspiring story! With gratitude, Tamara
Tamara, I am just seeing this on Sunday, so I have some catching up to do. Love the question. I would like to be transformed by living with an eternal perspective. And my deep desire is that if I am faithful living this way, others will be transformed too.
Lyne’, how marvelous to have you on this journey! And I love your desire. From the short time I’ve known you, that eternal perspective seems to permeate your every interaction and create a contagious joy. Thanks so much for sharing!
Hi Tamara- I’m new to your blog and what an amazing introduction you’ve given. It’s like sitting down over coffee to get to know someone for the first time, someone you know is going to make an impact. In other words, I can already sense how special you are simply because you’ve already made me and others feel welcome in your world of thoughts, and that’s a big deal.
I would respond to your question in this way, I’m at a crossroad, a change of seasons, and I’d like to explore Christ and Christianity through the lenses of fresh perspective. I want to know what it looks like to have a hospitable heart. Sure, I can clean up a house and put on a decent meal for friends via “hospitality.” I can even carry on a “hospitable” conversation. But that doesn’t mean my heart is hospitable. Can I delve into the depths of meaningful and transparent conversation with just anyone, and for the purpose of sharing and rejoicing in the gospel story? Is my heart even in tune with those outside my comfort zone. I’m not sure, but I’d like to find out, I think…
Lora! What a gift to get your gorgeous note. I’m so grateful you showed up to the blog and are sharing. (Pardon the delay, the past couple of days have been hectic.) But wow! What a beautiful desire to have a hospitable heart…one ready to invite, welcome, to share presence and make another feel both at home and an honored guest. I love that posture in conversation and friendship. I believe as you desire it, the Spirit will guide in a thousand ways it gets expressed. Thanks again for sharing! Tamara