Tell About It

All great stories start with disruption…including yours. What’s calling you out of your status quo?

Stories start with upturn–disruption is built into its very design. In story structure it’s called the inciting incident. Something happens to our dear protagonist to shake up the status quo. Suddenly life as he or she has known it is no longer possible.

Now our story gets going. Our main character is off on a quest to try to gain a new equilibrium. There’s something he or she wants or needs and must go and get it.

In the movies this disruption comes from an outside force. And in real life it usually does too. It takes a divorce, a job loss, an illness to shake up our own status quo. But on occasion disruption doesn’t have to entail external drama. It can be a tiny stirring for more that we let grow large.

 

If you have a stirring for more pay attention. If you have an external disruption don’t let that be wasted.

 

Yesterday I shared with you about one of my favorite status quo seasons: life in Colorado. Yet, disruption came. It came in the form of a job loss. The division I worked for couldn’t make their business model work and my new story started with a layoff. I was in shock.

Then disruption did its magic. It thrust me on a quest I would have never pursued on my own. This quest has entailed setting off to Cuba to direct a documentary series; journeying through the Middle East and Europe to interview refugees; shoving my belongings in storage for almost four years; living off of savings until savings were no more; co-founding two companies and I’m still in the midst of upturn. I remain unsure how this story will play out…how a new equilibrium will be established. But I can’t resist being thankful for the loss of status quo.

So friends, what is calling you out of your status quo? As I said: If you have a stirring for more pay attention. If you have an external disruption don’t let that be wasted.

I look forward to hearing.

Today we take a couple of minutes to name our reality.

In story, we first see our protagonist in what is called stasis, his/her status quo. It’s the reality that the protagonist lives in before the quest begins.

The reality has its good and bad qualities. The main thing is that the protagonist can survive in it without being changed…without experiencing great disruption.

So, here’s your question–and I know it can feel like a BIG one but I believe you can do this—what’s the reality you’re living in that doesn’t require you to change?

Can you name the good and the bad in your world that defines your status quo?

I encourage you to do this with curiosity, courage and candor.

I can’t resist telling you about one of my favorite status quo realities. Several years ago I moved to Colorado. Fort Collins swiftly became one of my favorite places on the planet—almost immediately my body, mind and spirit swiftly sank into a sense of home. I relished my community. I loved my work. And I got to hike several times a week…pure bliss! The beauty and grandeur of the mountains recalibrated my soul, which I had been desperate for. I had moved to Colorado after spending a year-and-a-half producing a series on sex-trafficking, so this place became my soft-landing and healing ground. I thought I would live there for decades.

In the midst of that gorgeous status quo there were also other realities. I loved my job, but there wasn’t room for growth. And I so enjoyed the other parts of my life I didn’t feel compelled to put much energy and time into dating…though I longed for relationship. So it was a really beautiful status quo…but it didn’t require me to stretch or grow or be that uncomfortable in it.

So, what’s your status quo?

Remember: there is great power in naming reality. And if you dare, I’d love to hear about it.

Typically in the first five minutes of a movie the protagonist does something that makes us root for her or him. Then we’re in.

Screenwriter Blake Synder calls it the Save the Cat moment. So…when it comes to your story—the desire you want to focus on in this season—what’s something you did that took courage to move toward it, took a little effort to pause, climb a tree and handle the furry, fussy beast that it is?

If nothing comes to mind, that’s ok. Perhaps today—now—is the perfect time to Save the Cat in your story. 🐱 Let’s do this!!! 🎉🎉🎉

Today we explore who you are as the protagonist in your story. You’re the hero. And like all compelling heroes you’re flawed. It’s a given in story structure, and in life.

We enter into our own stories with such spectacular beauty, occasional badassness and awkward brokenness.

We are complex creatures. That’s what makes us so fascinating…and our stories so intriguing.

But here’s the deal. It’s easy for us to forget who we really are when we show up to our story—show up to desire.

Today’s exercise is to write out 10 “I Am” statements. When you think about what you want in this season—what you want transformed—you must first consider who you are. How do you show up to that desire?

Courageous…and scared shitless? Analytical…and playful? Full of moxie…and a bundle of nerves? Sarcastic…and extravagantly generous?

Don’t think too hard. But avoid clichés. Let yourself be surprised.

This simple exercise has power, if you let it. One time, it rescued a shoot I was leading in Brazil. I was producing a TV series where I took US rising celebrities to Latin America and connected them with creatives to learn and be inspired. So I took this American model and actress who wanted to become a fashion designer and teamed her with these incredible designers in Sao Paolo. But the model was having a melt down and the shoot was turning into a disaster. It was obvious: she couldn’t create beauty until she understood herself, and saw her own beauty. Ten I Am statements and a vision book later we were back filming again.

Simple. Right? I felt really good about guiding this young woman through this self-discovery process. I could see so clearly what she needed to know about her story. We finished the show and headed to the Amazon where I was to work with a former American Idol star. And then tragedy strikes—in that turn of the tables, poetic irony kind of way. When I get there I’m informed the singer can’t make it and…I’m told I still have to bring back a show.

Suddenly I must to be the talent…my story will be filmed. What??? The model’s melt down looked like child’s play compared to my own. Confronting my own imperfections and wonderings of worthiness while I was being filmed hacking through the Amazon and trying to learn the Samba in a dress with less material than a dinner napkin…well, let’s say it wasn’t always pretty. But I got my show. And I got to learn more of what it’s like to be a flawed hero—beautiful, badass and broken. What enabled me to show up to it was my extraordinary Associate Producer and dear friend who took the lead and reminded me who I was through the process.

And we all need that. We need trusted others who will say I see you–gifts and flaws and all. I see you, and I like you.

So, for today’s exercise: Write out your 10 I Am Statements. And the Bonus—extra points edition–is to then share your statements with a friend. Let yourself be seen and liked, flaws and all.